19 Feb

I thought I would write about myself today. If you don’t really know me I am a pretty extreme introvert. I am extremely shy, and prefer to watch what is happening. Some times this translates into peoples minds thinking that I am standoffish. No I am just pretty quiet as a rule of thumb.

When I am talking, something takes over my body where I have a hard time finishing what I am saying. It is a weird reflex. The person looks in my eyes, I know they are listening to me, and I freeze and can’t remember what I am saying. It is the most bizarre thing in the world. It doesn’t happen all the time but often enough.

Just to give you some other examples. You know that there is something off when a bunch of kids scare you… It was my birthday so I had to stand up in front of the junior primary so that they could sing the birthday song to me.  They are 3-7 year olds, there are 25 of them, and Will and I teach 9 of them. Not a big deal right. Oh my gosh. They asked me what my favorite song was… Mind goes blank… Will helps answer thank goodness. Then they start complimenting me on my baking… Face turns blotchy red… Then they start to sing… I have to look down then whole time, and I start to shake. What is wrong with me. A bunch of kids should not scare me. HaHaHa.

When I spent some time in Oregon with my mom she had a bunch of high school kids over to eat lunch at her house. I was prepared, so I thought. I was in the kitchen making the french toast when all of a sudden with in a matter of 5 min there were 40 high school kids in our kitchen. I froze, was terrified, and became non responsive. I can’t even explain how I was feeling. It was the weirdest thing. I keep telling my brain that it was ok and they were just a bunch of kids. I finally had to go to my corner and cook until they all left.

Don’t get me wrong I am fine walking into an amusement park or a crowded room, it is when I know the people in the crowded room I start to freak out. Crazy weird.

The first time I meet someone I am like a deer in headlights. It takes me a while to warm up to someone. The friendlier and more out going you are the more scared I am of you. It is bizarre. This chick at church comes up to me and is very friendly. I know that I would like to hang out with her, but she scared me off. Now after a few months I am slowly considering inviting them to dinner, but I still think it will take a while.

There was just a look into my crazy messed up mind. Random I know… I know it was nothing to everyone else, but yesterday I talked to a girl that I was sitting next to at one of those Maceys classes. Maybe I won’t be afraid to talk to anyone one day…


6 Responses to “Introvert”

  1. Mickie February 19, 2009 at 8:36 am #

    I think this is maybe something Dad had to work on… That’s why he married Mom? Haha I have no idea why a bunch of kids singing to you would freak you out… sorry about that situation.

  2. hgundred February 19, 2009 at 9:27 am #

    That 2nd paragraph…I can relate to…I start to tell a story and then I freeze…can’t remember the rest…it’s weird. 😛

  3. Will February 19, 2009 at 10:07 am #

    Let’s hear it again for the letter A! The funny thing is that I tend to ramble when I’m nervous and uncomfortable, exactly the opposite. But we both definitely would rather not be in group situations.

  4. Linda February 19, 2009 at 11:15 am #

    Maybe everyone has something like that- for me it’s moving. I freeze. Stupid I know but I seriously go nearly catatonic. I’m great at prepping ahead of time, everything sorted, packed and labeled. But when we get to the new place I freeze. I can’t direct traffic or make decisions or anything. My mother in law has set up my kitchen the last 2 times I’ve moved cause I just can’t seem to function. I hope to never move again!
    Way to go striking up a conversation in class. Maybe there’s hope yet. =)

  5. kay February 19, 2009 at 11:52 am #

    Interesting…I have been thinking about this very topic this morning. Well, more in how different dad and I are. He is much more of an introvert than me. But over the years he’s learned to speak up, and thank goodness, over the years I’ve started to learn to SHUT UP!

    It just takes practice, little by little….:)

  6. joanna February 19, 2009 at 4:45 pm #

    Funny, I knew you are shy but I never knew that you would be in a panic mode. I experience uncomfortable situations at times. I just pretend I am fine and tough it out.

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