I am not superwoman

27 Jan

I just have to vent for a few minutes. I do understand that I am my worst critic. It is frustrating to admit, but I can not do everything. I think that I can most of the time. A lot of small things really do add up to on huge thing. I think that it is in part the winter blues, but this week has been rough. Schedule’s have been messed way up and it has really thrown me off. There has just been way to many things to think about and get done. I fell flat on my face tonight. I was able to pull it together until tonight.

  • The house is now refinanced with all of the time I spent finding documents and scanning
  • Common days are now over (Jason’s school was 11:25 instead of the normal 12:38. These early days just about killed me.)
  • Parent teacher conferences are finished
  • Scouts were moved and took over Thursday night
  • YW was a larger activity then normal
  • Mom, I need to to a 100 day project
  • Mom, I need 100 pieces of Jolly Ranchers
  • Sierra has a field trip tomorrow (these early days are killing me)
  • Having Jason read to me is just about as much as I can handle
  • Trying to keep the house in decent shape
  • Trying to come up with dinner every night
  • Trying to work out. No I really don’t want to, especially while the kids are fighting or crawling under my legs while I am doing it.

My list goes on, but I won’t bore you. I know that it is silly, but I am over whelmed right now. I think my last straw was tonight. I hit the point of, I can’t think or plan anything else, to early in the week. I was in charge of book club. I read the book a year ago and really enjoyed it. So I decided that was the book. I was just very disappointed in myself. It was not my best effort.

  • I didn’t get enough copies of the book for the ladies to read. Because of that, there was a smaller turn out then usual. (Yes I do understand that people could have been busy)
  • I couldn’t get motivated to read the book again, so I really could not lead a discussion.
  • I had all of these plans to make smoothies for the ladies before they came, but I pulled out frozen cookies instead. (Yes, frozen cookies were fine. I just wanted to do something not so boring)

Those were the only things that I had to do and I failed in my mind. I was just not prepared. Embarrassing to admit… There were only 7 women that showed up and while I was introducing the book and author I was shaking the whole time. How on earth do only 7 women make me so darn nervous. I hate how I can not just talk in front of people. I hate how shy I am. I hate how panicked I get when I know that someone is actually listening to me.

I guess that is why I joined the book club to help get over this anxiety I feel in groups. I just wish it was not so hard. I wish that I could be that fun bubbly person that everyone wants to talk with. All in all tonight probably went fine for the ladies that came, I just wish that I could have made it better.


6 Responses to “I am not superwoman”

  1. hgundred January 27, 2012 at 9:15 am #

    You know we all have those weeks. YOU are always a rock star in my eyes! Love you. 😉

  2. Mickie January 27, 2012 at 10:19 am #

    Nope you are not superwoman, no one is luckily.

    I felt your pain with the book club, i too read it a year ago and was no help… plus no questions on-line ANYWHERE threw me for a loop! Sorry you are having a bad week. Getts out of whack schedules plus extra big activities with people bailing last minute is never fun. Take a nap today and let the house go to junk. You and think about straightening it tomorrow… today though just drop it all and do what you want to do… Facebook Pinterest New Recipe Sew blatantly ignore your children? I do it all the time hahahahaha

    Hope you have a better day and I bet the book club was just fine…like you said you are just being rough on yourself. I mean seriously who has frozen cookies? I sure don’t… that alone puts you up there.

  3. Mickie January 27, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Don’t know why that comment was so dis-con-bobulated… i’m not going to fix it… it’s just the day I am having too.

  4. Kay January 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

    Oh…now I know why you called! Sorry I was not more sensitive to the issues.
    Isn’t that why we have frozen cookies in the fridge, for cases like this?
    Isn’t that why why count chasing after kids one day, our exercise work out for the day?
    Isn’t pancake for dinner a great treat, when life gets busy?
    Isn’t it nice to hear your kids has 3 and 4’s and not 1 and 2’s?

    Don’t be too rough on yourself. Some weeks are just like this! Oh, I I had to laugh at the shy part, I always get the opposite. Do you know how hard it is sometimes to always be expected to be the life of the party, to always have something to laugh about? Some times I’m quite content just being one of the crowd. And then when you are, people think you are sad or upset? Just interesting to think of both sides of the coin.

    But the thing you need to know, I and everyone else love you just the way you are!!!

  5. hdbritbragg January 28, 2012 at 12:39 am #

    Jeez… And in the middle of that crazy book club day I was bothering you about Disneyland passes. I’m sorry! Well, at least you’re participating in a club and even hosting it at your house! I doubt that will ever be something that I do. I think you’re amazing! You need to give yourself more credit! 🙂

  6. joanna January 28, 2012 at 11:31 am #

    I don’t know if I could help in other things, but I sure can help with kid’s school assignments. I am just a phone call away.
    You are wonderful, please remember to give yourself the credits you deserve.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: